


feel your glowin' for the first time

by siwona



Series: you make me strong [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Explicit Consent, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Trans Character, asexual bokuto, transboy Kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:24:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8971711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siwona/pseuds/siwona
Summary: Kuroo and Bokuto talk about sex.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know any japanese memes besides jojo poses & the sakura knife that can cut through anything. maybe i should do some research.
> 
> this was originally gonna be explicit but i decided that thats not what this fic is about & its unnecessary to add (sn: they started with something small that wouldnt be overwhelming in case u wanted to know). i know i did a bad job with the really romantic parts, sorry about that, im too damn aro for my own good. shakes fist
> 
> i feel like i didnt do well conveying how bokuto is feeling, by focusing on how kuroo shows that he cares & doesnt mind reassuring bokuto over & over, but i honestly dont want to nitpick too much at my work, i already feel kinda bad about it lmao.

Kuroo looked into Bokuto's eyes. "Safeword?"

"Zombie."

"Good. Don't be afraid to use it, okay?" Kuroo leaned forward, arms wrapping around his boyfriend and pressing his naked body against the other’s. "Say it loud, make sure I can hear it. And if you can't remember it in the moment, just yell _stop_ , and I will. Okay?" When the other nodded, he said, "I'm going to kiss you, if you're okay with that. No tongue, just pressing my lips to yours."

Bokuto hesitated, then nodded again. "That's okay." A few sweet, short kisses were placed on his lips, and he breathed a sigh when Kuroo pulled away.

Kuroo's hands moved to rub Bokuto's arms reassuringly. "Let me know if something in particular makes you uncomfortable, but you still want to continue. I can stop whatever I'm doing and move on to something else. _Please_ ," he said, concern coating his voice, "don't let me continue if you don't want it to. I don't want to hurt you, so you're gonna have to talk to me."

Eyes focused on his lap, Bokuto said, "Sorry... that I'm like this. That you have to deal with this. I'm fucked up, and it's unfair to you."

"No, Kou, please look at me." Kuroo put his fingers on Bokuto's cheek and waited for him to look up. "I care about you. More than anything. And I would do anything to stop you from being hurt. What I'm doing is not dealing with it, I'm not settling, okay? We are getting through this, together. I want you to feel good, I want to help you recover...."

"What if I don't?" Bokuto blurted out. "What if I'm just... stuck like this now? What if it never gets easier?"

“What does that change?” Kuroo asked after a brief pause. “If you don’t want to do anything sexual ever, you don’t have to, whether it’s because of things that happened in your past or your asexuality. I don’t need sex, Koutarou; I just want to be with you. So if you’re doing this because you think it will… what, help you forget? I’ve been there, love. I don’t want you to do that with me.” That wasn’t the first time he’d said something like that, and he wondered if that made him sound more or less sincere. He hoped more.

There was silence as Bokuto processed what was said, taking his time to think about his words. Gently, the hand on his face caressed his cheek, and he turned redder the more he looked into his boyfriend’s eyes. “I’m… I don’t want to use you. This isn’t just to… make me better. I want to have sex. With you, specifically, I guess.”

“You guess?” With a smirk, Kuroo nudged the other. “You got another boyfriend?”

“I have two hands.”

Kuroo giggled. “And I have a meme for a boyfriend.”

“Says the longcat!”

“Like, nya.” Fingers brushed against his hips and up his sides, and he yelled in surprise. “Wait, no! I take it back!”

Grinning, Bokuto dug his fingers into Kuroo’s skin, making sure to get his most ticklish spots. They fell back onto the bed, and Bokuto felt Kuroo arch against him and shake with laughter. “See?” he teased. “Longcat.” He stopped his tickling to point out how Kuroo’s body had stretched over him.

Kuroo took a moment to catch his breath. “Not really what people expect to see when they think of longcat.”

“’S what I expect. ‘Cause you’re my longcat.”

“Aw, that was surprisingly nice to hear,” Kuroo murmured, leaning in slowly. A forehead touch was fine with him, but he’d gladly accept a kiss if it was offered. “You okay with a kiss?”

Bokuto closed the distance between them, and a pleased sound escaped the back of Kuroo’s throat. It didn’t last long; none of them did, but that didn’t bother either of them. With a sigh, Bokuto pulled away, wrapping his arms tight around the other’s waist. “I guess we should actually get to the sex part, huh?”

“If you want to and you feel like you’re ready, we can,” Kuroo said, and his hands made their way to Bokuto’s hair, petting gently. At the firm nod he got, he moved his lips to his boyfriend’s ear. “I love you so much, Koutarou. You’re the light of my life, brightening up my day just by being near me. There’s no one like you, and I love that. I love everything about you; you’re everything to me.”

“Tetsu,” Bokuto whined, ears reddening. “You don’t have to… I don’t….”

Sitting up, Kuroo said, “What, don’t have to tell you? I _want_ to. I want you to know how I feel about you. How I feel a little buzz of joy in my chest whenever you’re around. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and you’re the only one I ever want to be with.”

Bokuto ran his hands up and down Kuroo’s back, lovingly. “That’s you though. Sometimes I don’t want to be around anyone but you. I can’t… There’s no one I’d rather be with. I love you; I want to make you happy.”

“You do,” Kuroo said with a smile. “Trust me, you do.”


End file.
